Author: Evelyn Cremin
The Warthog isn’t just a vehicle—it’s the real star of Blood Gulch. This poor jeep’s been flipped, crashed, and blown up more times than Church has died, and yet it keeps coming back for more. The Reds treat it like a sacred relic (Sarge calls it “the Puma”), while the Blues see it as a moving target. Either way, it’s the MVP of chaos.
Every episode, someone’s either driving it into a wall or using it as a battering ram. Grif’s napped in it, Caboose has totaled it, and Tucker’s probably tried to flirt with it. The Warthog’s durability is the only thing consistent in this mess, and that’s saying something when your owners are the Reds and Blues.
Best Warthog moment? When it got stuck on a cliff and everyone argued about how to save it—like it was a stranded teammate. In Blood Gulch, the Warthog’s not just a ride; it’s a survivor, and it deserves a medal—or at least a new paint job.